A Few of My Favorite Things

Overheard lately:

1. Corbett Schools lack focus and have no identity. (If they did, they could perform like...oops!)
2. Corbett Schools leave students behind.
3. Corbett Schools had a $2,000,000.00 budget for Special Education last year.
4. "I saw it in the budget myself!"
5. "I'm embarrassed that Corbett students pass only 25% of their Advanced Placement exams."

How can one possibly respond to such devastating criticism? I've given it some thought. Here goes:

1. The earth is flat. (Come on. If it's round, why don't we fall off?)
2. The lights in the Middle School are powered by very quick, tiny men wearing nylon pants so that their rapid circular racing around each fixture generates static electricity. The light switches only exist to let them know when lights are needed.
3. The sun revolves around the earth.
4. "I saw it myself". No, really, it started out in the East and traveled West all day. Are you calling me a liar? Or worse?
5. Harvard, Reed, Sarah Lawrence, Vassar, USC, Willamette, George Fox, Baylor, U Penn, Smith, Liberty, U of O, OSU, SOU, EOU, WOU, MHCC University of Portland, Portland State, Linfield, Pacific University don't seem to be embarrassed, and neither are the families who are saving thousands (and years) during hard economic times to get their kids through school.

That last one actually warranted a response, as it was the only one that had any basis in reality. Props for that. But the rest of the story is this...Corbett students are taking college level exams. To imagine that the 25% passing rate is embarrassing is to miss the point. How would we feel about a volleyball team that won 25% of its matches against colleges and universities around the country? Or a football team that won 25% of its games in the Pac 10? Absurd, of course. But academically, that's the league we are playing in. And we are seeing some all-star performances.

It is dazzling to watch, if you are able to follow the game. If, on the other hand, you know schools like I know soccer, it can be a little disorienting. That's why I hardly ever complain about the soccer coach's game plan. "You only scored on 25% of your possessions? What's going on here?!"